Never criticize, condemn, or complain. Rather than criticizing the other person’s process, we might reframe the situation and look at the process from their perspective. Perhaps there is a reason for the way he/she wants the process completed and we need to understand it. Asking why we should do things a certain way is a great way to start a good conversation.
How often have we found ourselves in a situation where we began evaluating the way another person is accomplishing an activity and saying to ourselves or others, I can do this more efficiently? I felt that way this week as I did some volunteer work and I was tempted to tell the leader of the volunteer organization that I had a better way to manage the activity, but I let it go. I often find myself thinking about how to improve processes because in my retail job I have worked for years to eliminate redundancy and speed up productivity. What I didn’t realize until I started doing volunteer work that when I criticize others for the process they have implemented, I am taking away a little of their self-confidence and making them less accountable for the results of their practice.
Dale Carnegie’s first human relations principle in becoming a friendlier person is, “don’t criticize, condemn or complain.” When we criticize another person, not only does it damage that person’s reputation, the words put a dent in our reputation.
Rather than criticizing the other person’s process, we might reframe the situation and look at the process from their perspective. Perhaps there is a reason for the way he/she wants the process completed and we need to understand it. Asking why we should do things a certain way is a great way to start a good conversation. If we find that we are still in disagreement, a suggestion for a change in the approach should be made gently and privately. Using this process allows both parties to save face and rather than creating an enemy, you may make a new friend!
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Author: MKUNISKI@ME.COM
Mary Kuniski is a catalyst for business and individual change. Throughout her career, she has consistently led corporate businesses into the future, often achieving process improvement and change that others could not. Mary’s enthusiastic attitude and tenacious ability to keep moving forward is why she identifies with this quote from Dale Carnegie: “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”
Passionate about problem resolution and committed to coaching and leading others, Mary is driven to ensure that everything she does provides lasting value. At a young age, her leadership and public speaking skills were recognized and nurtured through her ten-year participation in 4-H. She has also fostered change for businesses such as Parkinson Voice Project, where she directed the implementation of their website and online learning management system, and Overhead Door Corporation, where she created and launched a successful core data process improvement strategy. During her tenure with The Michaels Companies, Mary held five Director positions and three Vice President roles, and pioneered the company’s expansion into Quebec. Her efforts to lead the transformation of over 40,000 craft items to three languages resulted in Michaels becoming the first international retailer to acquire language certification from Quebec on the initial attempt. This meant Michaels successfully adherred to strict French-language laws. Mary has over 20 years in executive leadership in the retail industry and for 10 years led supply chain shipment improvement and savings and reduction efforts at Michaels.
Mary is a Dale Carnegie graduate, certified trainer, and consultant for Dale Carnegie DFW's Executive Leadership training. She holds an MBA in Global Management from the University of Phoenix and a degree in Human Development, Clothing Studies from Pennsylvania State University.
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